God… Are You Serious?

April 23 — The Story Between Storms

I’ve known “God is good” my whole life.
I’ve prayed the prayers. I’ve quoted the scriptures.

But nothing prepares you for the moment when you’ve done everything right—
And the outcome still feels all wrong.

This Wasn’t Supposed to Happen

I listened to my doctors.
I followed instructions.
I rested. I hydrated. I showed up to appointments.

I stayed away from drugs.

Didn’t eat sushi or lunchmeat.

And still… here I was.
Recovering from an emergency C-section.
Staring at my daughter through plastic walls.
Pumping milk and holding back tears.

Faith Isn’t a Formula

I think we’ve been taught, sometimes without words, that if you obey, you’ll be protected. That faith is a transaction—you give God your trust, and He gives you what you hoped for.

But here I was. Trusting. Obeying.
And still grieving.

The worst part? I wasn’t even angry. I was just confused.
God… are You serious?
You gave her to us. You knew how much we wanted this.
You watched us name her, whisper over her, dream about her future.
You knew how hard this would hit.

So why does it feel like You disappeared the moment we needed You most?

The Prayers Got Harder

I didn’t stop praying. But I prayed differently.
Less polished.
Less hopeful, if I’m honest.
But more real.

“God, if You’re going to take her, please don’t let it hurt.”
“God, if You’re going to heal her, do it now—I can’t take the in-between.”
“God, if You’re here… show me. Because I can’t feel You right now.”

When Faith and Frustration Share a Room

What I’ve learned is that faith and frustration aren’t enemies.
They’re siblings.

I can trust God and still feel devastated.
I can pray and still wonder why.
I can believe in His goodness while grieving His silence.

And honestly? That’s the most faithful I’ve ever been.

To the One Who’s Wrestling

If you’ve ever obeyed God and ended up broken anyway…
If you’ve ever followed the light and still ended up in the dark…
If you’re questioning everything you thought faith meant—
You’re not alone.

Wrestling doesn’t make you weak.
It makes you honest.
And there’s room for that here.

Even in your questions, you are still held.
Even in your anger, you are still loved.
Even in your doubt, you are still seen.