The Story Between Storms

The Day Everything Changed
April 19, 2024

I was lying in a hospital bed thinking about how people always say, “God never fails.”
They say, “He’s always with you.”
But what about the moments when you feel completely deserted?
When the weapons formed against you don’t just form—they look like they’re prospering?
When obedience doesn’t feel like it’s being rewarded at all?

We’ve glamorized faith—turned it into a highlight reel of favor, blessings, and answered prayers.
But trusting God… truly trusting Him… can be one of the most painful decisions we ever make.

And this story?
It’s proof of that.

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I woke up in a hospital bed.
The contractions were no longer waves—they were relentless, crashing against me despite a full week of interventions, bed rest, and prayers.

Doctors and nurses moved in and out like choreography I hadn’t rehearsed for.
Every five minutes, someone was adjusting monitors, checking the baby’s heartbeat, asking, “Are you okay?”

And I wasn’t.
But of course, I said, “Yes. I’m making it.”

I was 26 weeks and 6 days pregnant.
We had a goal—30 weeks, at least—but my body had other plans.

Three different doctors came in, each more serious than the last.
Finally, my OB walked in and said,
“I’m going to gather the team. You’re having a C-section this morning. The baby is experiencing decelerations.”

I didn’t have time to panic.
I didn’t have time to think.
I barely had time to pray.

Thirty minutes.
That’s all I had.

I called my mom.
I drank the solution they gave me.
Took the pill.
Tried to be brave.
Tried to breathe.

They wheeled me into the OR, and all I could do was sing—my nervous system’s way of holding it together.
My thoughts?
This can’t be happening. Not yet. Please, God. Let us both be okay.

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And then… she arrived.

One pound, three ounces.
Thirteen inches long.
Breathing on her own.
A strong heartbeat.
Great circulation.

She was the most perfect little potato I had ever seen.
And just like that—I was in love.
Afraid.
Hopeful.
Completely and utterly in love.

This was supposed to be the beginning of something beautiful.
And it was beautiful—just not in the way I expected.

My partner and I, both parents to teens, had waited for this baby.
She was our second chance.
Our fresh start.
And she was finally here.

That first day, we sat and stared at her.
Marveling.
Praying.
Whispering her name.
Wondering what her voice might sound like one day.

It felt like time stopped.

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Tomorrow, I’ll tell you what happened next.
But today—I just want to sit in this moment.

The day she came into the world.
The day everything changed.
The day I learned what it really means to love through fear.

If you’re reading this, I hope you know:
Even in the storm, even in the silence, even in the questions—your heart is still worthy of peace.
And your story is still unfolding.

Happy Birthday, Princess!